Breaking up with someone you love is never easy, especially when there are so many emotions and challenges involved. In this post, I want to share my personal experience of ending a five-year relationship with someone I once believed I would marry. I am still processing the pain and questioning if I did the right thing. My hope is that by sharing this, I can find some clarity and maybe help others who might be going through something similar.
A Relationship Built on Love, But Facing Challenges
For five years, I was in a relationship with a man who was an expatriate. We had been planning to get married, and the marriage was supposed to happen in two months. From the start, I believed in our love and thought that marriage was the natural next step. I loved him deeply, and I imagined a future together. However, there were warning signs from the beginning that I ignored because I only focused on his love for me.
The Social Divide and Struggles
My family’s situation was better than his in many ways. My father is a respected figure in our village, while his family was considered more ordinary. Despite the social differences, I tried to make everything work. My family often warned me about the potential challenges, especially when it came to adapting to his way of life and his family’s customs. I ignored their advice, thinking that love would overcome these issues.
There were also some things I hid from my family about him, fearing that if they knew, they would not approve of the marriage. I tried to explain certain social norms to him, like how he should behave when coming to see me or how he should respect my family’s dignity. However, despite my warnings, these things happened anyway, causing me pain and disappointment. It was hard for me to understand why he didn’t consider these things important, especially when I tried so hard to maintain my family’s honor.
Feeling Neglected and Disrespected
One of the most painful issues in our relationship was his negligence. He would communicate with me only when it was convenient for him. Even though he would video call me while driving or during his free time, he never made time for meaningful conversations. When he was free, he would talk to his friends or spend time at home, but rarely did he prioritize me. This constant feeling of neglect began to erode my love for him. I used to make excuses for his behavior, telling myself that at least he was loyal and had no bad habits. But over time, the emotional toll became too much.
Despite repeatedly expressing my feelings to him, he never made any real effort to change. Instead, he would dismiss my concerns and tell me that I was being unreasonable. This became a pattern that I could no longer tolerate. When my father fell seriously ill, I needed his support, but he was distant and unhelpful. His words hurt me deeply, and I felt as though I was being accused of being a burden rather than receiving the support I needed from him.
Breaking the Marriage and Facing the Pain
After much thought and emotional turmoil, I decided to break off the marriage, even though my family and friends wanted to fix things. I couldn’t continue in a relationship where I felt neglected, disrespected, and unloved. The thought of enduring this kind of treatment after marriage was unbearable. It was not just a temporary issue; I realized that his behavior would not change, and I couldn’t continue living like this. The pain of neglect had taken its toll on me, and I knew I had to let go.
Was It the Right Decision?
Now, I find myself questioning if I made the right decision. Did I do the wrong thing by ending the relationship? Was I too quick to give up on someone I once loved so deeply? I feel guilty and confused, especially because I know how much my family and friends wanted this marriage to happen. But at the same time, I know that I had to prioritize my own mental and emotional well-being. I couldn’t continue sacrificing my happiness for the sake of maintaining a relationship that was no longer fulfilling.
Moving Forward
As I reflect on everything, I realize that sometimes we must make difficult decisions for our own peace of mind. Love alone is not enough to make a relationship work. Mutual respect, communication, and understanding are essential, and when those elements are missing, it can be painful. I hope that by sharing my experience, others who might be struggling with similar issues can find some comfort and guidance.
Ending a relationship is never easy, but sometimes it is necessary for personal growth and happiness. While the pain of this decision is still fresh, I am learning to heal and move forward. I hope that one day, I will find someone who values me as I deserve, someone who is willing to grow and adapt together.