Introduction
As the eldest child of a middle-class family, I have always carried a sense of maturity beyond my years. My nature is ambivert—I don’t mix easily with others, but once I accept someone as a friend, I become quite comfortable. Apart from focusing on my studies, I also work at a coaching center to support myself and gain experience.
The Relationship Journey
I have been in a relationship for over four and a half years with someone I’ve known for about six years. Our bond grew from friendship to love, filled with ups and downs, breakups, and reconciliations. My partner is the same age as me but follows a different life path. She is a Hafiz, dedicated to Quranic studies under her father’s guidance. Unlike me, she has no academic background or career ambitions. Her family resides in Qatar, and she carries some family responsibilities, though she seems indifferent to them.
The Struggles
Despite my efforts to motivate her to pursue something meaningful, she remains uninterested in building a career or taking responsibility. She often dismisses my concerns with simple reassurances like, “Let’s get married,” without showing any real effort to secure a stable future. Her childlike behavior and detachment from reality have become emotionally draining for me. Yet, despite her flaws, I find myself emotionally attached to the point of unhealthy obsession.
Facing Reality
I recently told her, “I won’t marry against my family’s wishes. Do something—a job or a business—so I can confidently speak for you in front of my parents.” Her response was the usual, “I will try to do business,” but there has been no real effort. This stagnation affects my mental health, academic performance, and relationships with my family. I struggle to teach my students effectively, my presentation skills have declined, and my frustration often spills over at home.
The Dilemma
She doesn’t want to let me go, yet she makes no effort to secure our future together. It’s like she wants to maintain the relationship based on emotions alone, without considering the practicalities of life. I keep asking myself, “What is she doing to keep me?” but there’s never a satisfying answer.
A Future in Question
Some people enter our lives, form deep connections, and eventually treat us in ways that force us to let them go. When that happens, it feels like the blame falls on us for making that choice. I don’t know what the future holds, but I want to create a life where I can make my parents proud, leaving behind a legacy they cherish.
Seeking Advice
I am at a crossroads, torn between my emotional attachment and my responsibilities. How do I move forward? How do I balance love and the desire to build a meaningful future? I am looking for guidance to help me find clarity in this overwhelming situation.