Is there any sister whose mother-in-law buys all the things? For example, my mother-in-law buys the curtains, sheets, slippers, table mats, etc. for my room in advance according to her choice, so no one takes me to the market and I can’t buy anything for our room myself. She buys my dress in advance too, and even decides which dress I will wear, what jewelry I will wear, or which bag I will take with me when I go to an event. Although I think about wearing a different dress in advance, I can’t tell her that anymore. Then I have to wear what she likes.
Does it even happen only with me or with everyone else? Does she do this when she buys dresses? If someone says the dress I am wearing is beautiful or asks who bought it, then I have to say that my mother-in-law gave it to me. Then when someone says it is beautiful, my mother-in-law is naturally happy and starts discussing the price. So does she buy the dress in advance to get compliments or not?
I actually want to get rid of this. I want to buy my own clothes. I want to study. I don’t want any more gift clothes. I want to buy and wear things of my choice in the room. My husband bought them first, so he said that you don’t need to buy new ones, your mother is buying them. How can I handle this, please help.
I wanted my daughter to get a haircut for Eid, but they all said that she can’t cut her hair. They said that I should let her hair grow as it grows. I wanted my daughter to get the same haircut that she does on her forehead. They won’t let me do anything. I think they want to control my daughter’s life as well as my life.
Note: My husband is not right. He goes to a residential hotel, and picks on me on the street. His son is good to his mother-in-law. Is this happiness? They show people that they are keeping me happy by giving me clothes. He couldn’t make his son happy, so why should they interfere with the rest of my happiness and peace? This is what I say. My husband doesn’t take my opinion on anything, let alone family matters. I have been mentally tortured for nine years. Don’t I have any choice of my own?
People give me gifts occasionally. I have to wear my favorite dress 365 days a year, and he will tell me what to wear when I go somewhere. And even if the cage is made of gold, it’s still a cage. My husband often pays for most of the things he gives me, so what if I buy what I like? My husband himself is like a mental patient, whether it’s good or bad. If my mother-in-law doesn’t give me money, he would give me money to buy whatever I want. He doesn’t want to give me money.
I know most girls don’t even get yarn. He gives me all this because my family gave his son 1.15 million taka to start a business. Just because he gives it, he can assert his authority over me and say that such and such a dress is expensive. If he didn’t give it, he might not have said so. And I could also buy something of my own choice, do some shopping for my daughter, go for a walk, go to the market, sit there, and eat fuchka. I stay at home all day. He couldn’t do anything good for his son, so he said he should cover his faults with gifts. At least if my husband was good, I would have accepted all this silently.
Is there a way to make a husband who is addicted to drugs, backbiting, bad-tempered, liar, cruel, has extramarital affairs, and treats everyone badly, does anyone know of such a book? Or does anyone know of any Ruqayyah? If so, please tell me. What book can be given to him? He doesn’t consider his faults a fault and doesn’t admit that he has done anything bad. He shows himself to be a good person in front of everyone. He tells people to pray again, but he doesn’t read them himself. What books will open his eyes when he reads them, or what will he do to come to the path of religion?
I can get a divorce in the future, so I want to know what documents are needed. The marriage certificate has not been brought, can I get it if I go to that center? Or can it be found online somehow? I can’t bear the husband’s arrogance, deceitful pain anymore. He is so good and so bad. He threatens to marry again. He also has physical problems. He comes to me once in 2-3 months, and that too ends in 5-10 minutes. And when I go near him on my own, he says he has a headache, stomach ache, body ache, and makes one excuse or another and pushes me away.
Moreover, he has been coming to rehab, redox for 3, 6, 9 months. He is fine for a few days, then he starts getting addicted again by hanging out with bad friends. I have spent all these years hoping that he will get better one day. If he is not addicted, then his behavior is acceptable. But what if he is addicted? He does not realize how many days have passed. He is buying drugs (pills, fakki, sticks), going to residential hotels, abusing me. I have call records of all these. Can I teach him the right lesson with these during the divorce? And will these evidences help me to keep my daughter with me?
Currently, he has been sent to rehab again for 8 months, after which he will be sent to Pabna for one and a half years. That means he will spend two years like this. If my husband were okay, I wouldn’t consider the rest of the problems a problem.